homesick

i was able to chat with two of my highschool friends, mike and max, a couple of days ago. mike, who is in australia will go home on december because he's getting married. a few months ago, i planned to go home because it's been two years since the last time i went home but i wasn't sure if my boss will allow me. that's why i'm not that eager. but while chatting with them, i suddenly felt nostalgic and i really wanna go home asap.

what i miss the most about pinas are the beaches, baguio, my hometown and most of all my friends and relatives and i wanna spend chrismas there.

i'm really crossing my fingers... i'll talk to my boss, anna, when she comes back from the conference in taranto. she didn't allow me to go home last august. i hope this time she'll let me.

is it just a game?

now i know how to play your game. bring it on! i assure you, it won't break me! in the end, i'll win!!!

that's my wall post right now at my facebook account. well, some people just wanted to play games with you without even realizing that they're hurting you. now, i'm glad someone woke me up from this nightmare and i thank god, i've woken up. i have to stop this stupidity. i have to stop all the foolishness that i'm doing. there are really people out there who will use you and when they don't need you anymore, they will just dump you in the trash can. tsk! from now on, i'll be careful. from now on, i'll choose whom i'll deal with... from now on, i'll choose my friends... from now on, i'll be tough... from now on, i'll be an asshole... because if i continue to be kind, i'll just continue to get hurt. been there, done that. i've been through such kind of situation before but i was so hard headed that i continue to do it. but now, i got tired. i got fed up, so, i need to change everything. i've been hurt and i think i need to stand up. there are a lot of people who love me. they should be the one that i will care for, not the user-friendly people. damn, i ws sooo stupid! i should've thought about this before.... maybe i won't get hurt this much!

my life sucks big time for a few days now. hope now i can find the right path... the right way in order to survive.

sadness

i've never been so sad in my life. well, as far as i can remember. it's because of some stupid things that i myself had caused. i suck, i really am. i've been so selfish and insensitive that i've caused you pain. some innocent people even got involved. i'm so sorry to all of you whom i've hurt.

i've been crying and thinking for a few days. i didn't even get enough sleep. i laugh and smile but if you'll look deeply into my eyes, it's not happiness that you'll see. it's pain... sadness... well, there's no else to blame but myself. i think it's just right for me to suffer. it's just right for me to feel the pain. i barely speak since yesterday. if you'll talk to me, i'll answer you but in the most boring and sad way. i'm not sure if you can see the loneliness in me, but who cares... oh, does anybody care?

christmas is fast approaching. lots of people are excited about it. but me, i'm not because i guess it's the saddest christmas ever. if only i can stay home that day and sleep the whole day, i will. but of course that won't be possible coz my whole family is expecting that i'd celebrate with them.

gosh, i dooomed! i feel so helpless. help me God.

one year

OMG! how come i wasn't able to write here for a year? well, obviously, i've been very busy. i feel a bit guilty coz i didn't visit or write here for quite a long time. i'll make it up to you, guys. got a lot of things to share especially now that zoie's going to school...

that's all for now. i gotta sleep coz i have to send zoie to school at 10am...

adios!

monaco and nice france

uff! didn't publish this one! stupid me!

as what i've said at my previous post, i'm going on a 3-day vacation in monaco/monte carlo and nice, france with my family and some of our relatives. i really had a wonderful feeling right now coz i was able to relax and unwind. thanks to zio rey and zia tracy (the hosts) for the cool condo where we've stayed, the delicious foods, the ride, the fun, laughters... everything! they're the best hosts ever!

monaco and nice are cities where you can find a marvelous beach and beautiful mountains at the same time, plus the clean and peaceful sorroundings... it's actually what i'm looking for. it's like mixing baguio and pagudpud which are the two most important places for me... my favorite places actually. of course, don't forget the night life! wasn't able to go to any disco house or any bar but i'm sure it's open til dawn. you can shop until midnight coz stores are open til midnight. or you can just walk along the streets and watch some magicians, dancers, skaters, or any other performers. or if you're a romantic person, you can just stroll or sit along the beach with the moon and stars shining on you...

let me tell you what we did from the moment we left home until the drive home. here it goes:

we left home at 6pm. we should've left earlier but my parents are afaid to leave the building until they're not finish with their works. zoie's so excited like me coz she's really fond of going out plus she has a new car seat. it's a 4-5 hr. drive, so we had a stopover at autogrill for about 15 minutes to attend our personal necessities. mamma bought something to eat coz we weren't able to have dinner before we left. we arrived at negresco (our meeting place) at around 10:30pm, zio rey fetching us. then we went directly to the condo. only zia tracy, zia elsa and francesca were there coz the kids went out to have some fun. afterwhich, we ate... i only ate a little coz i was so tired and i thought i was still full. the kids arrived and everybody were happy to see us. ang gugulo namin! we had a chit chat for a while then went to sleep. i'm glad i was able to sleep rightaway coz i need to recharge for the next day's pasyalan...

the next day....

we planned to go to monte carlo, monaco, my fave place for a vacation. i came here once on 2002 and i promised myself to go back here as soon as i can. first, of course, we ate ice cream at hageen dazs. hope i spelled it right.hehe! anyway, while we're eating, we say kaka. yes, the famous brazilian football player of milan! know what, he's my 2nd fave football player (1st of course is cannavaro). wow! we were shocked and delighted coz, well, we are all football addicts and the last thing in our mind that time is to meet a famous person... and here is kaka face to face with us. and most of all, we paparazzi him! lol! but the picture is vague coz it's a bit far. we were so surprised, we forgot to take a pic of him while he's near us. and when we're back to our senses, that's the time i asked norman, my cousin, to take a pic of kaka (and his wife) but too late he's already far from us. but i asked norman to run and follow them so that we could have a least a pic of him and we didn't fail but as what i've said, it's quite vague...

then, we went to the casino.. i mean, outside the casino where lots of luxury cars are parked. i took a pix of them one by one. but i think i didn't captured 'em very well coz zoie is very pasaway. after that we went to the terrace where we can see the ocean. we didn't go to the palace, princess grace's rose garden, the grotto, and other places there coz we've been there before. but i really wanted to. it's just that my companions don't want to got there anymore. deym, i'm a bit frustrated.

we went back to the condo to have lunch. my mom cooked lasagna for our 1st plate, tenderloin steak for the 2nd plate with mashed potato, panna cotta for dessert... i'm on a diet but i couldn't resist the food so i ate a lot!

at around 5pm, we went out to play beach volley. oh, i din't play coz i have to take good care of zoie and francesca who are soopah pasaway. instead, i took photos. it's kevin-rael-norman vs. zio rey-mark-germelyn. at first zio rey's team was winning but in the end my brother kevin's team won. we left at around 9pm but they continued to play so we left first (me,zoie, frachie and zio lito). i forgot zoie's back pack at the court so i asked kevin to get it once they're finished playing but he also forgot about it when they are through playing. we only learned that the bag was left when i have to get some stuffs at zoie's bag, and that's after 2 or 3hrs after they left the court. so, we went back hurriedly at the court hoping that the bag's still there and luckily we found it where i left it. meaning, no one even dared to touch it... gosh, if it's only in milan, it's already stolen... i'm glad people there are nice. we didn't have anything to do so we planned to go strolling and watch some performers along the street. i saw michael jackson impersonator, magicians, musicians, skaters and a lot more. was also able to shop and bought stuffs for me and some pasalubong. went home at around 1am.

the next day, germelyn and i woke up early coz we'll go jogging along the beach and after that, we'll go to the beach and get tanned. so, we put on our swimsuit and jogging clothes plus the mp3 and we're ready to go, but auntie tracy woke up too and asked us to wait for her coz she'll go with us. we left at 8am. had a 15 minutes walk from the condo to the beach and we started jogging but auntie tracy was left behind coz she didn't have running shoes. instead, she've waited for us on the sea shore and swam on the beach all alone.

gosh! after more or less 3 years, i was able to jog again. we had a lot of stops and go. i mean, run-walk, walk-run. i can't even run for 5 minutes straight! i'm not surprised though. we jogged for i think more than a kilometer from the place where we left auntie tracy until negresco. we sat on a bench in front of the beach for a break and after 5 minutes we jog back to auntie tracy. when we reached there, we removed our clothes right awat leaving only our swim suit then we swam on the beach. what a great feeling! swam for i think more or less 15 minutes, lied under the sun for 15 more minutes, had a shower and then we walked back at the condo. we're sooo tired! but instead of sleeping, we sipped coffee and some briosche while having a chat.

that happened on 2007... we went back to monaco and nice, france last year, august of 2009 with mommy. wanna go back there this summer... anybody who wants to come with me? let me know...

horoscope

Almost everyday, i read my horoscope at my friendster account. i'm not saying that i believe the horoscope 100%, in fact i dont really do what it says. for me it is just a guide and precaution in what will gonna happen today or any other day. i think it also helps me grow into a better person. here's my horoscope for the day. i think it's somewhat related to my previous post entitle "stress." i could feel that today or the in next few days i'll be able to find peace and serenity in my solitude.

here's my horoscope for today:

Thinking about issues that matter only to you helps build up your intuitive skills.

In Detail

While walking down the street or driving in your car alone today, you will start feeling a new sense of peace in your solitude. Expand this feeling by keeping to yourself as much as you can throughout the day. Move away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the world, and think about the issues that are most important to you. Doing so will help build up your intuitive skills. You're in a highly suggestible phase, and you should count on your own compass for guidance.

tarot card

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

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